January comes to an end (sigh...)

Classes begin for Seth and me on Thursday. My last day at World Harvest Mission will be on Wednesday. And so when February begins, life as I've known it this month will be changed. There's a reluctance that goes with this. I don't feel like I'm quite rested from how intense last semester was. I could use a week or two to get to all those fun projects I just ran out of time for. It feels similar to the end of summer when you're a kid and you have to trade in unscheduled days of infinite self-led adventures for days marked by the ringing of bells and following a teacher's instructions.

The self has to change -- has to fit back into a box of hours and minutes and academic pursuits. I can't spend my free hours excavating the clutter of my desk and discovering the simplicity of clean underneath. Or rediscovering my creative side through some wedding scrapbooking and writing. I won't be able to choose how I spend these hours: because I chose to pursue seminary 3 years ago. And it will be over soon. I have only 2 classes left before I get my degree in May. Next year, I will likely look back on this intense season of study and miss it.

But right now I'm sad that January must end. God has done a lot this month in my heart, and I don't want to lose it. He has settled His frantic daughter in major ways and has taught me to trust Him for the particulars of daily bread. He has provided for Seth and me -- much more than financially. I think I'm beginning to treasure what money will never buy instead of longing to have those things I think I deserve (a redecorated apartment, for instance, or the luxury to go out to Center City Philadelphia every weekend for fun). I am learning that my Father really does see and really does know.

Like the job thing. This week I got a job offer for a month long position helping to start up a counseling center at a local church. I had no idea this job even existed; I did nothing to try to secure it (no interview, no resume sent in); but it was presented to me and I knew I wanted to take it. I'm already counseling at this church a few hours a week, and it's a great opportunity to see how a counseling center is begun. And the amazing part is that it starts February 5th, with only a two day lapse from when I end at World Harvest. That's pretty incredible!

And there are still long-term job options "in the queue." I'm learning that faith is a daily waiting and a daily offering. I give my burdens and worries to God; He reminds me of His presence to be enjoyed today. I wait for His day to unfold instead of trying to micromanage every minute of it. (something I am still very much learning how to do...)

So although I do sigh with the end of this restful (from school) month, I also am excited for a new chapter of new adventures. That's the other part of being a kid going back to school. There were always the old friends to catch up with, the new friends to meet, and a fresh beginning.

Kind of cool that God promises His people this every morning...the new mercies for each day. And, by extension, for each season...

Vote for a job for Heather!

Did you miss election day? Now you have a chance to truly become influential and make a difference. Where your vote really does count. I promise. (do you believe me yet?)

I'm trying to decide what job to take beginning in February. I am stepping out in faith, transitioning from WHM in hopes of increasing my counseling/ministry experience -- and even more so as graduation in May draws nigh. My ideal is something about 20 hours a week that will work with my ever-so-crazy schedule, while also paying me millions. (ha, ha) Well, at least I'll settle for a buck or two above minimum wage, seeing as I do have a bachelor's degree and I'm working on my master's...

So -- here are the options:
(A) Counseling at a faith-based non-profit medical clinic serving a mainly Hispanic population in the city
(B) Teaching Spanish as an independent contractor to a couple schools throughout the Philadelphia area
(C) Tutoring
(D) Personal/admin assistant for a local attorney
(E) None of the above: write in job _______________________
(F) Some combination of the above: list here ____________

If you read my blog, please vote. Both humor and deep insight are appreciated in your responses. :)

Happy Birthday, Bryan!

My "little" brother turns 21 today. It makes me feel old to think about that. Here he is as I first remember him -- I'm holding Bryan in this picture as Jonathan stands beside me. I still remember as if it was yesterday the morning that Bryan came into the world. It was a Monday, and I was awakened with the news that Mom and Dad were going to the hospital and one of their friends was taking me to school. I was so excited all day, especially because I just knew that I was getting a little sister. (what I'd always wanted) I made it all the way to Art class in the afternoon before Dad came to school to tell me the news of Bryan Christopher's birth. I remember being disappointed that I didn't get a sister after all, as disappointed as 1st grade emotions can get.

But my appreciation for this brother has grown over the years, and I would never trade him for even the best of little sisters. Bryan has always been the one to make our whole family laugh...even when going through the darkest of trials. And especially whenever he was in trouble. Jonathan and I would get so upset at the way Bryan would get out of any kind of punishment just by making Dad laugh at him. (we know we suffered many more spankings than him for this reason) However, Bryan is also quick to point out that I was the devious one who would do something bad (like steal a cookie before dinner) and then succesfully convince my parents that it was Bryan who did it. His six years' younger logic couldn't stand up against mine.

So today he officially enters into equal maturity with me--as a legal adult. He got there much sooner than me, though. As I compare where he is now to where I was as a 21 year old...he's got years on me!! His faith has weathered more storms than I had seen by his age; he has a vision for his life, a strong sense of adventure (that led him to a road trip from Carolina to Colorado and back with his best friend upon high school graduation), that same impeccable humor that keeps him out of trouble, and a generous love for people that all of us who are close to him value.

Days like today the distance from Philly to South Carolina feels impossible. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you, Bryan, but just know that Seth and I "raise our glass" to you to wish you a very happy birthday!

waiting and resting

At the end of a busy day, I am choosing to write rather than sleep. (applaud me for fulfilling one of my 2007 resolutions...) I realized today with sadness that my January that was to be "a month of rest" has quickly filled up. I should have free time galore, with only a 20 hour/week job and no classes until spring semester begins in February. But isn't it crazy the way that we humans fill the free space in our days with activities?

"I'd love to...because I don't have anything going on this month": these words have escaped my mouth too many times, I fear. And the rest I hoped for has come in only in hours--rather than the days I was hoping for. Yet I think I am rediscovering the rest that can come through a change from routine. And a change from academia to "real life."

I have spent much more time with people than I usually get to when classes are in full force. There is something quite soul-refreshing to be "reading" live stories, interacting with people and their real problems rather than the academic analysis of stories and problems. This latter endeavor (a worthy one!) makes one prone to a growing coldness of heart and distance from others if it's not undertaken for the purpose of interacting with real people. I've seen this during my time at seminary. It's frightening, and reminds me of the warning in Hebrews to "encourage one another DAILY...so that none of you will be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."

I have experienced a revitalization of a heart grown too cold in these days of being with friends and talking to more people than I have in a long time. I feel my soul coming back to life. That is the beauty of relationships and community! It's what we're made for...and we slowly shrivel up spiritually without it. I knew all this before, but it's been good to experience it anew after a season of intense studying and fewer interactions with people.

I have been encouraged these past few days especially. As I wait on God's leading for what to do when I graduate in May, it is encouraging to remember that I am to look at Jesus more than I obsess about my future. One older sister in the Lord put it this way this week: "When I don't gaze at Jesus, I will gaze at 100 other lesser things." Another brother in Christ who is going through a season of brokenness is testimony to the paradoxical hope that comes to those who are awaiting heaven while living on earth. A friend I met with shared with me how she and her husband are waiting for adoption. Yet another friend expressed a dream she wants to pursue but must wait for direction as to the next step of the journey. She is daring to be alive to her heart, which means she is waiting for more.

We are all waiting for something.

The challenge is not to lose sight of today in the midst of the waiting. Waiting can lead to a future-obsessed way of thinking which I caught in myself the past couple of days. So the key seems to be how to rest in today even as you wait for what you're hoping for in tomorrow. It could be a new job, a baby, a wedding, resolution to a conflict, the end of a semester that's just begun, graduation.....................

The possibilities are endless. I'm trying to figure out how to wait expectantly, but rest in today. Being fully present, even in those moments that are less than ideal. This is where growth occurs. A steadily growing perseverance and an unshakable peace. No small miracle for this woman who grows quickly impatient and anxious, with even the slow-moving line at the post office!

December highlights and New Year's resolutions

January 3, 2007

I'll start with my New Year's resolutions. I'm keeping them to two this year. For simplicity's sake.
(1) To know the joy of resting in God's presence. I've been reading a 40-day meditation centered around Moses' encounter with God on Mt. Sinai and the Israelites' response. The phrase that I keep coming back to from this passage in Exodus 33 is God's promise to Moses and His people: "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." That's what I want to know this year: the joy and hope that come from believing that this is true.

(2) To write more. Which means, yes, there should be more blogs this year than last year! I'm reading a few books on writing during our month off from classes. I've started with Anne Lamott's book, "Bird by Bird." This quote compels me to why I love writing, and why I want to do it more. She is describing her father, who was also a writer: "He could go anyplace he wanted with a sense of purpose. One of the gifts of being a writer is that it gives you an excuse to do things, to go places and explore. Another is that writing motivates you to look closely at life, at life as it lurches by and tramps around." Which means I think there is a corollary to this resolution...#2a would be to look closely at life, savor the sweet moments, laugh at the funny moments, and remember each day instead of rushing through them as someone merely bent on survival.

Now on to highlights from December...which also will explain why I haven't posted in awhile.

December 2nd: my dear friend & college roommate, Katherine Jackson, weds Captain Jeffrey Donnithorne in Birmingham, AL, and I had the privilege of being a bridesmaid

December 15th: Seth & I get to be conspirators for our friends' engagement.
Below is the happily engaged couple, Nathan and Erica:
(they're an advertisement for our new side business, Heather&Seth-match.com....ha, ha)

December 16th: My brother gets engaged to his college sweetheart, Nicole!!
I will finally get a sister in the family. Yay!

All of December: me and Seth's first Christmas together!

Here we are with our little "charlie brown" Christmas tree :)

Christmas in New Jersey...my first ever was quite fun. We celebrated the weekend before Christmas, and were showered with gifts and love by Seth's parents. What a fun time together!


...and Christmas in Greenville--we had fun going downtown with my brother Bryan and his girlfriend Ashleigh and all of us being a little bit goofy --

December 18--a surprise going away party for Kimberly, a friend since high school who is heading to Kenya as a missionary. Here we all are: friends since high school (and even kindergarten!) -- Kimberly, Kathryn (expecting her first baby in January), me, Shelby

It was a full month!! Full of good times with friends and family. So now January is time for some good rest. That is our hope as Seth and I try to figure out what to do without classes for a month!