wedding planning!

The subtitle of tonight's post is: "a.k.a. wedding insanity." As I have been home in South Carolina for a "wedding planning weekend," I have been immersed in aspects of weddings that I have been blissfully oblivious to at the dozens I myself have attended. Such as whether a veil should be ivory or white or diamond white and what sort of edging it needs to have. What flavor cake do I want on each layer? And how exactly should the invitations be worded? Do I really want great-aunt Bertha on the guest list...and if we invite her, do I have to invite great-aunt Margaret on the other side of the family tree? (*note: names have been changed to protect my chance of inheritance...ha, ha!)

For someone like me who is a people-oriented, big-picture person, these details can feel needless at best and frustrating at worst. Isn't a wedding supposed to be about celebrating the marriage of a couple in love? Of inviting friends and family to witness the launch of a life-long covenant between the bride and the groom? The bride wears white, chooses bridesmaids to stand with her; the groom and his groomsmen rent tuxes. Their guests arrive; a minister marries them; they walk down the aisle as Mr. & Mrs., and head to the reception for the first big party in their honor.

What should be so complicated about that? Ah, but it is. There is the tension between getting enough details accomplished so that guests feel honored and welcomed during the whole event while also not forgetting the big picture of why you're planning a wedding in the first place. There is the struggle not to buy into the lies of this wedding industry that say (1) what your wedding is like becomes your value & status in life (2) YOU deserve the best...of everything! (3) your wedding is more important to prepare for than your marriage...and they go on & on & on.

I'm saying no. I'm saying a wedding is much less important than my marriage to Seth. I'm saying that the details have their place, but they are NOT to be consuming or what's most important. I'm saying that there may be (and probably will be) details that are overlooked and we will still have a wonderful wedding. I'm saying that there is danger in getting consumed in the industry of it all. I'm saying that the next 3 months of my life--my friendships, my time, my energy--will not be dominated by the wedding. Through the grace of God, may it be so. Hold me to it if you're reading this right now!

glory revealed

How is it that it too often takes a tragedy to reveal the glory that always surrounds us? The curtain to eternity has been lifted through the tragic death of a fellow student at Westminster last Thursday evening. There is mystery that enshrouds the circumstances that surround this loss. All of us as a community are shocked and bewildered with the heaviness of such an untimely death.

It is rare for us as a young community to experience the reality of death. Yet it has served to sharpen what I believe about death and how I am to live each day. Eternity is a breath away. It is close. Life is fragile. The lives of those I love are fragile. We are fragile.

Yet our Savior is so, so strong. With a strength that is gentle: "...a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench..." (Isaiah 42.3) He carries his own close, and I know that this brother of mine--though I barely knew him--is gathered close to him right now. He is H O M E !

So there is reason to rejoice even amidst the grieving. There is reason to invest in the relationships around me. To love freely, even generously. Even in the midst of finals.

These exams, this studying, these papers are NOT all there is or even ultimately what is most important. In fact, to make them my life is to miss out on the way eternity pushes into life today. There will be perfect joy then, but there is rejoicing even today. For our Redeemer is pushing back the darkness...of death's sting, of sin's pain, of life's brokenness.

And we were given a tangible picture of that on Saturday morning, as I was blessed with the joy of many friends who gathered for my first bridal shower. It was such a sweet time as they rejoiced with me in God's gift of Seth into my life (and showered me with many fun gifts, from the slightly "scandalous" to the kitchen practical). It left my heart rejoicing at God's gift of so many amazing friends -- that He has given in two short years in Philadelphia.

Richly blessed, we are.

Joy and sorrow intertwine, weaving a story that is both merciful and confusing at times. And so we worship the Unseen One, saying with the psalmist: "even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you." (Psalm 139:12)

the joys and trials of engagement

We look like a pretty happily engaged couple, don't we? Especially since the backdrop is the gorgeous Southern Gone-with-the-Wind style Inn that was available for our reception. It was our #1 pick, and surprisingly, our wedding date in August was one of the only 4 dates open in 2006. We were amazed at our "luck." Amazed that God would answer a prayer that seems so trivial in the big picture.

However, there have been many, many more decisions since then that have not been so quick or easy. It's been pretty incredible to me to experience how difficult wedding planning and engagement actually can be. It's amazing how many familial conflicts emerge under the stress of such an undertaking. And how raw you become to the person you are promising to spend the rest of your life loving. It's really different from what you see in the movies and the romance novels: a banner waving "happily ever after" as the man and woman ride off into the sunset of bliss together.

No, no--that's not really what engagement is like. (nor what marriage will be like either, from what I hear) What's found instead is a deeper joy than the picture perfect glee painted by the culture of this engagement season. It's a joy like what happend at dinner tonight when we realized that we (1) both actually had a good day (2) on the same day (3) and didn't talk about wedding plans (4) even though finals and papers still loom ahead. Honestly, it feels like a miracle. Certainly a much bigger answer to prayer than our #1 reception place being available.

That's my struggle especially during this season: to keep in mind the big picture. To have a view of life and marriage that is bigger than a wedding. To wrestle with struggles larger than merely what style to choose for the bridesmaid dress. So that I can enjoy what is truly important about the wedding, engagement, and life: relationships. With friends, with family, with my fiance, and above all--with my Creator and Redeemer who makes any of these possible.

It gives a whole new meaning to the Biblical analogy that our time on earth as Christians is like an engagement as we the Bride of Christ await the wedding feast to come in Heaven. There is joy to be found, but it is much deeper than we picture...and it comes mixed in with the angst of waiting and preparing for our Bridegroom.