hidden glory

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

beyond imagination...

March 29, 2006

As I traipsed into Central Park with my roommates on St. Patrick's Day, I stopped to take the photo above of the John Lennon memorial near 72nd st. The fresh flowers lining the stone memorial caught my attention, and the simplicity of the one word IMAGINE caught my eye. It was the perfect foreshadowing of an afternoon that would surpass my imagination.

I thought I was en route to a Broadway musical with Jen and Melissa--but this expectation dissipated when Seth called. The conversation was as follows:

S: "Where are you right now?"

H: "Central Park!"

S: "So am I!"

H: "No you're not!! [thinking...he's just kidding me]

S: "Yes, I am. Look to your left!!"

And time seemed to stand still once I glimpsed him standing about 50 yards off walking towards us. I froze. I could not believe it! That I had been tricked...completely unsuspecting! Jen had to remind me to "Walk towards him!" because I was in a state of surreal joy and shock.

He took my hand and led me to Bow Bridge. The next moments are a blur, yet I remember them as if in slow motion. He's reaching for the ring box; he's down on one knee; he's telling me he loves me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me; he's asking me to marry him. I'm saying, "I love you, too," I forget to say yes...I remember that I forgot and say, "Yes, yes, yes!" He's giving me a ring. "It's perfect!" I exclaim. We're delighted. I'm overwhelmed with joy. What a beautifully exquisite moment! One I've only imagined could happen to me. One I could never have imagined. Oh, our Father God is good...His love is so evident in these divine glimpses of joy...can the heart hold so much happiness at once?

And that is just the beginning of the story! The evening included a shopping trip on 5th Avenue, dinner with his parents at "The View" in Time Square, and then a weekend trip down to South Carolina from Sat. morning through Monday. Absolutely unbelievable...from beginning to end. For the best part is that this is simply the beginning of our new life together...

Ideas, tips, suggestions, & advice on how to stay sane during wedding planning are all VERY welcome for the next 5 months!

Monday, March 13, 2006

a stolen spring day

For those of you who live in Philadelphia, you might be thinking that this will describe these 70 degree days we've been experiencing! They have been absolutely gorgeous. In fact, Saturday was definitely one such day. I woke up to the sun streaming into my bedroom, and I could feel that spring was here. There was no shivering as my face hit the winter-cold air of a home trying to save on heating bills. I had a few friends over to celebrate Seth's birthday, and afterwards Seth & I headed out to Fairmount Park (Valley Green entrance) to take a quick hike before hitting the books (or more accurately, the laptop, since I have a paper looming) at our favorite coffee shop in Chestnut Hill.

With the carefree spirit that can only be fully appreciated by those living in the Northeast on such a surprisingly spring-like day in March, I parked my car, threw my purse in the backseat and we set out for a short hike. [lesson #1: NEVER put any valuables in plain sight] Forty minutes later, we returned to the crowded parking lot...only to find the glass shattered of my back passenger window. My first (naive) thought was that there must have been a freak accident because of the change in temperature.

Until I looked inside and noticed what was missing: my school bag, which had my laptop inside it, and my wallet out of my purse. (I was most curious at what they left behind: Seth's backpack, which had his Apple laptop within and all other contents of my purse which were scattered on the seat--including my cell phone and checkbook.) I dialed the police, then immediately called to cancel my credit cards. I found out they had already been used for approximately $280 worth of materials from Home Depot. For over two hours, I was filing police reports, talking to my insurance company, canceling credit cards--doing everything but enjoying the beauty of this spring day.

When the details were sufficiently dealt with, the anger of the injustice of theft began to creep over me. And the sadness of what is lost--forever. It felt like a violation of what I value most: my writings. Many of which were on that laptop, never to be recovered. Irreplaceable. It's still maddening when I think of it. Not to mention the class notes from 6 weeks which are gone. [another lesson: ALWAYS back up work on your computer] And THEN there's the sheer financial cost of covering everything that was stolen. (by the way, car insurance doesn't cover what's stolen out of your car--that would be covered by renter's insurance...which, of course, i didn't have...lesson #3: the cost of renter's insurance IS WORTH IT)

It was surprising to me how emotionally shaking it is to have something like this happen. In the big picture of world tragedy, it's nothing. Miniscule, in fact. Yet the loss I felt (because my laptop IS in many ways the center of my student world!) is an echo of the loss felt by so many on a grander scale around the world. When they returned to their house or store that had been looted by thieves in New Orleans--after being destroyed by a hurricane's flood. It must have been infuriating!

I find myself wanting justice for this person (or group of people). I want them to get caught and to be forced to return what they stole from me. I want to be paid back in full for all that I will have to pay FOR THEIR CRIME against me. This is not fair. And it isn't. But neither is it fair that Someone had to bear the wrath of my crime against God. That HE repaid God for what I could not pay (and am not even sorry for, often).

So then, in my better self -- in who Christ is making me to be -- I want the gospel for this thief. Granted, I want repentance towards me and returning of all my possessions to be part of the effects of salvation in this person. But could I be content if I don't find out until Heaven that this thief gained salvation as a result of what was stolen from me? That somehow by reading through my writings on that laptop or flipping through the words of the Bible in my bag--that God would find this thief as God has found me? And this thief could be amazed by the freedom of grace found in the gospel of Jesus Christ? For even on that moment of death, Jesus Christ died so that one of the thieves dying with Him could be with Him in Paradise. That seems so unjust.

But then -- were it not for the injustice of God, neither would I be in Paradise with Christ. Maybe my laptop will be waiting for me there, too. Certainly much better treasures than all those that were stolen...

Thursday, March 09, 2006

signs of spring?

I heard a bird singing outside my window today--two, in fact. Or maybe more. When I went to the grocery store, the strawberries were on sale. The sun didn't set until about an hour after I walked out of class at 5:00 yesterday. All of these are signs that spring is coming...my winter-laden soul rejoices.
I am home sick today. With a sinus infection, which I got an official diagnosis of this morning. That means that I also have meds that will help me to heal. And a free day from work. Yet I feel guilty that I haven't accomplished more by now. I have books to read, phone calls to make, emails to write. A blog to update.
But spring is on the way. It is coming. I am sure of it. And this minor fact seems to alleviate the boredom and monotony of life as I presently know it. It has been winter for a long time, but spring is coming. Not as quickly as it does in South Carolina, but no less surely. It is coming. It will be here soon.
I am sick, but there will be healing. It is starting now. It is (at least at this point of life) almost certain. I am bored, but there will be vibrancy to come. Memory tells me this. It is the rhythm of life, as sure as the seasons. Spring itself will help to awaken my lethargic soul...or so I hope.