January comes to an end (sigh...)

Classes begin for Seth and me on Thursday. My last day at World Harvest Mission will be on Wednesday. And so when February begins, life as I've known it this month will be changed. There's a reluctance that goes with this. I don't feel like I'm quite rested from how intense last semester was. I could use a week or two to get to all those fun projects I just ran out of time for. It feels similar to the end of summer when you're a kid and you have to trade in unscheduled days of infinite self-led adventures for days marked by the ringing of bells and following a teacher's instructions.

The self has to change -- has to fit back into a box of hours and minutes and academic pursuits. I can't spend my free hours excavating the clutter of my desk and discovering the simplicity of clean underneath. Or rediscovering my creative side through some wedding scrapbooking and writing. I won't be able to choose how I spend these hours: because I chose to pursue seminary 3 years ago. And it will be over soon. I have only 2 classes left before I get my degree in May. Next year, I will likely look back on this intense season of study and miss it.

But right now I'm sad that January must end. God has done a lot this month in my heart, and I don't want to lose it. He has settled His frantic daughter in major ways and has taught me to trust Him for the particulars of daily bread. He has provided for Seth and me -- much more than financially. I think I'm beginning to treasure what money will never buy instead of longing to have those things I think I deserve (a redecorated apartment, for instance, or the luxury to go out to Center City Philadelphia every weekend for fun). I am learning that my Father really does see and really does know.

Like the job thing. This week I got a job offer for a month long position helping to start up a counseling center at a local church. I had no idea this job even existed; I did nothing to try to secure it (no interview, no resume sent in); but it was presented to me and I knew I wanted to take it. I'm already counseling at this church a few hours a week, and it's a great opportunity to see how a counseling center is begun. And the amazing part is that it starts February 5th, with only a two day lapse from when I end at World Harvest. That's pretty incredible!

And there are still long-term job options "in the queue." I'm learning that faith is a daily waiting and a daily offering. I give my burdens and worries to God; He reminds me of His presence to be enjoyed today. I wait for His day to unfold instead of trying to micromanage every minute of it. (something I am still very much learning how to do...)

So although I do sigh with the end of this restful (from school) month, I also am excited for a new chapter of new adventures. That's the other part of being a kid going back to school. There were always the old friends to catch up with, the new friends to meet, and a fresh beginning.

Kind of cool that God promises His people this every morning...the new mercies for each day. And, by extension, for each season...