hidden glory

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

wedding planning!

The subtitle of tonight's post is: "a.k.a. wedding insanity." As I have been home in South Carolina for a "wedding planning weekend," I have been immersed in aspects of weddings that I have been blissfully oblivious to at the dozens I myself have attended. Such as whether a veil should be ivory or white or diamond white and what sort of edging it needs to have. What flavor cake do I want on each layer? And how exactly should the invitations be worded? Do I really want great-aunt Bertha on the guest list...and if we invite her, do I have to invite great-aunt Margaret on the other side of the family tree? (*note: names have been changed to protect my chance of inheritance...ha, ha!)

For someone like me who is a people-oriented, big-picture person, these details can feel needless at best and frustrating at worst. Isn't a wedding supposed to be about celebrating the marriage of a couple in love? Of inviting friends and family to witness the launch of a life-long covenant between the bride and the groom? The bride wears white, chooses bridesmaids to stand with her; the groom and his groomsmen rent tuxes. Their guests arrive; a minister marries them; they walk down the aisle as Mr. & Mrs., and head to the reception for the first big party in their honor.

What should be so complicated about that? Ah, but it is. There is the tension between getting enough details accomplished so that guests feel honored and welcomed during the whole event while also not forgetting the big picture of why you're planning a wedding in the first place. There is the struggle not to buy into the lies of this wedding industry that say (1) what your wedding is like becomes your value & status in life (2) YOU deserve the best...of everything! (3) your wedding is more important to prepare for than your marriage...and they go on & on & on.

I'm saying no. I'm saying a wedding is much less important than my marriage to Seth. I'm saying that the details have their place, but they are NOT to be consuming or what's most important. I'm saying that there may be (and probably will be) details that are overlooked and we will still have a wonderful wedding. I'm saying that there is danger in getting consumed in the industry of it all. I'm saying that the next 3 months of my life--my friendships, my time, my energy--will not be dominated by the wedding. Through the grace of God, may it be so. Hold me to it if you're reading this right now!


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