burdened

Throughout my counseling program at Westminster, God has been developing in me a deeper compassion for those who suffer. And I have asked Him for this even more so as I have started counseling this year.

God is answering it. But it's hard. It's difficult to be burdened for another. To truly have compassion in a way that moves one to action forces me out of my self-created comfort zone into a place where I feel my inadequacy. My love for convenience must be put to death ... and it has been with Christ on the cross. This is the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings.

It is a theme the past few weeks. There's a family member I am burdened for anew...who seems without hope. How humbling for "my job" to be to bring hope to others and I cannot seem to find the right words for him? There's a friend from church who has been brought to the brink of despair recently. And I don't know how to reach into her world when she is too weary to let anyone in. There's a counselee I saw who won't come back because it was too hard to relive her story as she told it to me. I can understand why. But I desperately want her to know the healing that Light brings into darkness!

I am burdened. And it is good to carry this weight...if I am lifting it up to the Father. There really is no other place for it.

Especially since I left my journal at the retreat center I went to with Chelten Baptist (where I'm working as a counselor & counseling center administrator now). When I called about it this afternoon, they said they found it ... actually that one of the grandkids of the owner found it. I wonder how much this kid read of it before he/she decided to turn it over! Now that's a humbling thought...!

new colors

I was tired of the green and orange...so hiddenglory is now blue and brown. I like this color scheme so much better. A bit more subtle and in line with my tastes.

This is officially the first blog I've written that is this short. And the most un-philosophical. Hooray...

A recipe for life

Ahh, yes. Recipes. What an incredibly boring blog topic...but something is better than nothing when it's almost been a month since my last post! And I did have an epiphany while following my first ever cheesecake recipe this week in preparation for a friend's wedding shower.

This cheesecake actually turned out pretty good, and there's no magical explanation. I simply followed the recipe. I realized that I really like recipes. A lot. It gives you the ingredients you need, tells you step-by-step how to make this dish and 9 times out of 10, what you're hoping to make is actually produced as the end result. If you put forth the effort to go shopping for the correct ingredients and follow directions well, you are nearly guaranteed success.

If only life could be like this! And imagine if it was. The recipe for having lots of friends:
ingredients -- high extroversion, good listening skills, $$ to go out or host gatherings, ability to relate well to many people, living in the same place for a long time
preparation time -- at least 2-5 years
*Mix all ingredients well, and continue to do so for several years. Will yield many friends.

Or maybe one for a good Monday morning:
ingredients -- lots of caffeine, good night's sleep, naturally a morning person, enjoyment of your job
preparation time -- at least 1 day
*Balance all ingredients together, starting with being a morning person, then adding good night's sleep and enjoyment of your job. To jumpstart the day, drink a few cups of coffee -- and voila! you'll have a good Monday morning.

Another for the perfect job:
ingredients -- quality education, accurate self-knowledge of gifts and limitations, good co-workers, tasks that you enjoy, the paycheck you're contented with
preparation time -- 10-20 years
*Begin by getting a good education equivalent to the job you're hoping for. Add to this the accurate self-knowledge of gifts and limitations. Then mix in a job that pays well, with good co-workers, and tasks that you enjoy -- and you will have the perfect job.

What's funny is that we all know there are no such recipes -- and yet I am consistently lured in by such promises on MSN.com or webmd. The ones I found myself reading tonight were strategies about how to successfully adjust to Daylight Savings Time that will hit us all 3 weeks earlier than usual. Webmd.com actually calls it "6 simple steps to survive daylight savings time" (link if you're as curious as me: http://www.webmd.com/).

It seems that we're all looking for recipes for life. Especially for the most complex problems or struggles. I want the "how-to" book that guarantees success. But there is no such thing! There are too many variables in life lived as a creature in a world ruled by my Creator. I am meant to live relationally, not to live out of an over-desire for "success" and being "together." Relationships are not -- and cannot be -- formulaic. There's too much involved. They cannot be reduced to ingredients with a set preparation time or production process.

I'll have to keep my enjoyment of recipes to the realm of cooking and baking. And embrace the mystery discovered by living life without a recipe.