delving into poetry

I wrote this poem last semester when I was grappling with an inward dilemma of whether or not to trust God. It's hard to give up our (apparent) control to one who is Unseen. And it's hard to be honest with our questions.

"Questions"

Dare I hope?
I dare not hope.
I dare not not hope.

Can I surrender control?
Or control surrender?
Will I surrender controlling surrender?

Are these only words?
And are words only questions?
Or do I question words?

Is life music?
Or is music life?
Can music be found in life?

Is God real?
Or is real God?
Is God the real I can’t see?

Real hope.
Real surrender.
Real words.
Real life.